Averagely Amazing

“I claim to be an average man of less than average ability. I have not the shadow of a doubt that any man or woman can achieve what I have, if he or she would make the same effort and cultivate the same hope and faith.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Today I went to the eye doctor. I've always thought my eyes were horrific. I feel as blind as a bat when I don't have my glasses on (Thanks, Mom), and that my prescription must be off the charts. To my  great surprise, it's average.  Then my doctor tested me for potential for LASIK surgery. The thickness of my cornea? Also average.  Grades in school? Average. Musical talents? Average.  Looks? Average. ACT scores? Average.  Teaching ability? Average. The path of greatness in my life has always proved elusive. I've never seemed to captured this inner spark required for greatness. I guess I now know why.

The purpose I have been seeking-the life I thought I'd find-never seems to materialize. I keep waiting for something 'magical' to happen in my life, that all of a sudden I will wake up and the birds would herald my newfound purpose and people in the street would notice this new personal revelation, while the soundtrack I always wished would play during these revelatory moments would blast into the world-preferably playing Frank Sinatra's "The Best is Yet to Come" (because life is always classier with a live band and a crooner) . This would, of course, include a dance number in the middle of a shopping center or park, with me at the center of the fray. Unfortunately, I still wake up every morning regretting getting out of bed, and the one of 3 alarms I set (in 15 minute increments) still goes off very rudely in my ear.

 I've given up being incredible. I've let go of being the person I thought I would be, and have decided to become a better person anyway. I've given up greatness, and  just decided to live instead. What does this mean, exactly? Corners won't be cut, expectations won't be made, and I won't be any more deserving than anyone else. I'll stop making excuses for myself and just do it, because that's what us ordinary folks do.  Others may feel this sounds like I'm devaluing myself in some way, but it's actually quite the opposite. I've been so hard on myself in the past because I never measured up to the person I thought I was SUPPOSED to be.  Now, I can just BE. Be myself (whoever THAT is). That sounds like a lot less pressure to me! And who knows, maybe in spite of myself I'll pull a Ghandi and end up amazing in spite of my average-ness. Until then, though, you'll find me blending in-happily-with the rest of the regulars...if you can find me at all:)