We Really CAN Do It

The Mormon Women Project is amazing. There are so many women with so many inspiring stories. Their lives and backgrounds are all incredibly unique, and I've learned a lot about myself from reading them. We' ve all been so blessed..even in the face of great adversity. Their resilience and strength is inspiring.  I needed to read their stories. Catherine's was one of my favorites.

"..If you’re going to do something, do it with grace and don’t be a martyr. If you’re going to do service, make it seem effortless. You’re never going to get credit for it anyway!"-Catherine Humphrey from The Mormon Women Project.

www.mormonwomen.com/2010/10/13/critical-thinking-for-a-critical-time/

The strength of women constantly astounds me. It's amazing what we are capable of when it is required of us.  I hope that one day  I can be like so many of these women. I think Rosie would be proud.

 I know I am.

The Greener Grass

I have a fatal flaw. It's taken a while to notice, but after recurring patterns in my life, I've discovered the root of the mystery. What I have isn't good enough. I'm in constant pursuit of the best thing..whatever it is. Maybe it's being the best or having the best..it doesn't matter. I'm always fascinated by people who are happy and content with their lives. Mostly, because I have never truly felt that way about mine. The things going right in my life seem shrouded with 'buts'.
Here are a few:
1. I have a stable job that gives me free time  BUT I don't feel passionate about teaching and would be more than OK with more money. ( and I want to be passionate about my work.)
2. I have friends who care about me BUT I often feel dissatisfied in those relationships for whatever reason..
3. I have a good roommate situation with reasonable rent and a good neighborhood BUT I don't want to live in Vegas and feel dissatisfied living here.
4. I am in a great family ward with good people BUT I already feel overwhelmed in my calling(s) and have zero desire for any sort of responsibility.
5. I enjoy being single BUT constantly worry about "What's wrong with me?" Even though I have little-if any-desire to date anyone I know. (and those I would want to have no desire to date me)
6. I have a family who loves each other and are very blessed to be relatively drama free BUT I often wish we were different/more fun/more connected/more spiritual/whatever...
7. Survived a bad car accident and recieved adequate medical attention and had great insurance BUT still feel frustrated because I'm not completely healed and doing the things physically I want to do.

These are just a few. And to anyone who may be reading this: know I take personal responsibilty for my feelings and don't think negatively of anyone in any way, shape or form.This is why I'm writing so I can be more grateful for the things I have rather than dissatified with the way things are. All in all, I have a pretty great life. So what's my problem? The complaints I've had over the years (and currently), have centered on the following (mostly):
1. No money
2. No dates
3. No friends
4. No excitement
5.Not enough responsibility
6.Too much responsibility
7. Not busy enough
8. Too busy

I've just felt 'blah'..so to combat my 'blah-ness', I did the following things this semester:

I went back to school and took 2 Masters classes.
I started volunteering at The Shade Tree teaching a music class to kids
I started with a personal trainer and going back to the gym
I started seeing a counselor
I switched wards
I decided to go on a humanitarian trip to India
I bought curriculum guides that would allow me to teach in sequence and help my students learn
I was going to move to Washington, DC, but my stupid leg got in the way.
I was vegan all summer and felt fantastic, but it's too hard to keep up during the school year.

In short, I basically revamped my entire life.

And guess what?

Nothing changed...other than the fact that I'm insanely busy. And that's when I realized:
I have everything I thought I ever wanted, and it still isn't good enough. I'm working on becoming the person I want to be, I'm doing the things I thought I wanted to do, and it still isn't good enough. Looking back on my life experiences (after a chat with my roommate), I realized that none of those were good enough either. I wanted my life to follow the course I had charted, when in reality, the experience never measured up to my expectations. And the reality is, if I can't meaure up to my expectations, who else or what else can?
Not my friends, family or students, and definitely not anyone who would want to marry me. And granted, no one is perfect, and I know that, but for some reason, the expectations I place on myself and others (whether they know it or not) are often unattainable.

I found this quote by actor Bruce Lee I need to remember: "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."

And while I make more realistic expectations for myself, hopefully I'll be able to see the good I've been missing as well.

I Bet This is What Heaven is Like

I went to a family ward today. MY family ward. The one where there are married people that aren't in the bishopric. The one where there are multiple ages other than 18-30 (and the slackers who keep hanging around after they're 30). The one where it's like real church.  I was super nervous, until I knew so many people already and felt so comfortable there. So many reached out to me, and it was so easy to reach back. It was wonderful.  I feel like that when I go to the temple as well. I always run into someone I know-usually someone I haven't seen in a while. Everyone is so peaceful, the Spirit permeates the building, and it's so quiet I can hear the electricity humming in the celestial room. More than once I've thought: "I bet this is what heaven is like." I felt like that today at church. I have been putting off making this transition for so long, and today I wondered what the hold up was. I was so comfortable with the process of the singles ward, yet so unhappy. I wasn't being spiritually fed, I didn't feel needed, and the dating aspect (the reason they were created in the first place) has always been non-existant. It made me wonder if there are other things I've been holding on to that maybe I should let go of. That maybe Heavenly Father-in His infinite wisdom and complete and perfect knowledge of me-has more to give me in other aspects of my life as well. I've been holding on so tightly, but maybe it's just time to "Let go and let God."  Something to think about. Lots to think about. Maybe there are more heavenly experiences in my future...I'm kind of scared and excited to find out.

Bountiful Baskets

Bright and sunny, with a few gray clouds looming in the distance, I got in line for my first time. A bumper sticker on one of the many mini-vans in the lot read "I don't believe the liberal media" and the little white sportscar next to me touted the license place "GODSKID". I was smiling already:). The park was bustling with activity, and white baskets filled to the brim with produce lined the east side of the area. I was 20 minutes early, but a crowd was already starting to form. Not knowing what to do, I asked the first friendly face I saw. They weren't too difficult to find. Although they'd been there at least an hour, everyone was pretty upbeat. She directed me through the process and told me to take a box-one of the many left over-and I started to get back in line. There was an incredible sense of community. Others in line were chatting, their reusable plastic bags swinging at their sides or laundry baskets hefted on their hips. I saw soccer moms with tattoos, bleary eyed husbands, and an old friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years (although facebook seems to bring us together more regularly than that). He and his family lived right down the road from me, and I had no idea. It was fun to catch up. I also met a new friend-Jonelle-in line, who, with her resolve to use EVERYTHING in her basket, regaled me of her attempts to use okra. People were friendly and smiling...and excited!  This really was the place to be on a Saturday morning.

There's a new phenomenon emerging here in the west. It's called "Bountiful Baskets"  http://www.bountifulbaskets.org/ and it's a fruit and vegetable co-op. I heard about it when I went to visit my friend Tanya in Washington. For $15 dollars ($25 if you get the organic basket) you pay into it and on Saturday mornings you pick up your food. It's amazing, really. The founders-Sally and Tanya who send out the weekly reminder e-mails -wanted  an inexpensive way to provide produce for their friends and families. It's non-profit, and those who run each site are volunteers. It's also good for farmers. The group focuses on using produce from small farms to help them out and to keep costs low. They try to get as close to local as possible, preserving freshness and helping to support local economies. With such an affordable way to eat, it also promotes healthy living. I love the philosophy, I love the idea, and I love the produce. The box I recieved was packed to the brim with lettuce, spinach, broccoli, turnips, yams, bananas, pears, apples, pomegranates, grapes and a pineapple. It's different every week, so it's a surprise every time. My parents are doing it out in Logandale, and they both texted me at 6 am-independent of each other- to remind me to get in line;). (It's like they know me or something!)

There's power in coming together for a common purpose. I loved that feeling this morning. People from many different backgrounds and experiences, all on the look out for a great deal and maybe that same sense of community. I really enjoyed this because it's hard to feel that in Vegas. We are a transient locale. It's the nature of our town. People move in and out all the time, and because of that, there is little desire to build camaraderie or plant roots. Most are transplants from other places. More often than not, when I run into people who are rooted in this city, it's at church functions. The church really does provide roots in many ways that Las Vegas as a whole-with its propensity toward tearing down anything 25 years or older (other than government housing)-seems to find superfluous. It's the people here who connect this town. Mostly through their memories and social networks. It's the shared experiences and "remember whens". There are very few landmarks left to visually see what Vegas used to be. It might be a little thing, but in a big city-especially this city, it means a lot. Under the showy glitz and glamour of our 24 hour town, in a park on the far northwest corner of a Vegas map, a couple of roots started growing.  Maybe there is a place for me here after all...at least a place in line:)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where

the clouds are far

Behind me.

Where troubles melt

 like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me."

-Harold Arlen

When he penned the lyrics to Over the Rainbow, Harold Arlen probably thought it was just another song in another movie musical. Little did you know, Hal, your amazing addition to the great American songbook has changed my life along with countless others. When I first saw 'The Wizard of Oz', we had recorded it on our new VCR. The thing was a silver monster, and cost hundreds of dollars. It was 1984, and it was the  first movie we ever recorded on it. The magic of technology and a timeless classic were no match for my imagination-then and now. Something changes inside of me watching that movie. It asks me to suspend reality-which I willingly do-for 3 hours. (The commercials make it longer. I think I've seen it twice without commercials. )

Here is  Dorothy in black and white; seeking adventure and an escape from reality. Little does she know of the Technicolor world awaiting her 'Over the Rainbow'. Dorothy learns that problems still happen, challenges still arise, plans go awry-even in Technicolor. The grass is literally greener on the other side, but there's a different set of challenges keeping it that color. Troubles don't melt like lemon drops over the rainbow.  Oz changes Dorothy. I think it's for several reasons, and I'm sure someone, somewhere, has dissected these many truths in greater detail and with more exceptional skill in a critical analysis. But since this is my blog, I'll throw in my two cents. Not only does Dorothy realize 'there's no place like home', she grows up. She relies on others, as well as herself. She makes new friends. She appreciates diversity. She helps and serves others. She loves. She struggles. She has hope and faith in the Wizard. The Wizard can't solve all of her problems, though. Ultimately she has the power to choose what she wants-as difficult as the choice may be. I could make a bunch of spiritual connections here, but I'll let you infer your own.

Dorothy's storyline resonates with me. I live in black and white and (mostly) gray. I dream of a new world, new adventures and more excitement than I currently experience. This weekend I went to a Midsingles conference here in Vegas. It was good to see old friends and meet new ones. I didn't make any love connections, although I had my crushes. I'm 30 years old, yet nothing has changed. I thought being older would be more exciting than it is now. I thought I would have my life figured out and that I'd have all the answers. As I watched all of us trying to maneuver the shark invested waters of the Mormon Singles Scene, I realized that no matter how beautiful, talented or fabulous, we were all in the same boat. There were others who seemed to have lives 'Over the Rainbow', but a snapshot in one weekend is not a fair assessment, and I have a feeling most left the same way I did-a mixture of bittersweet emotions. I hope that Hope overcame some of the  fear of the future...the 'is this going to be for the REST OF MY LIFE?' train of thought that sinks the thinker into a sad cycle of loneliness and despair. (No one's ever been there, right?)

It's interesting though, I never once thought "What's wrong with me?"  That's pretty huge. I can't say I didn't cry a little..I did. It sucks not knowing what the future holds. At least if I'd cranked out a couple of kids and was folding my husband's underwear I'd have some sense of direction, but this "World is my oyster" business is a little too open to intrepretation for my taste. On the way home from our last meeting on Sunday, minutes after I saw yet another one of  my friends give some guy  their number, I saw an amazing rainbow. The kind that stretch all the way across the sky. The kind the double rainbow guy would 'ooh and aah' over. And I realized that on whatever side of the rainbow we are on or think we are on, our Heavenly Father is mindful of us and our circumstances. He's not finished with me yet. Maybe there's more to my life than underwear and childrearing right now. Maybe it's this time that will make that time to come all the sweeter. Whatever it is, I've got work to do. I'll color the parts of my life that I can start on my own, and have the Lord do the rest.

Talent Time

As a reward for the last 5 minutes of class, my students get to do Talent Time. It's where they sing or play an instrument or tell jokes and get to perform for their class. They absolutely love it and ask me if we are going to have talent time every class. They are not brilliantly executed, these little performances. In fact, 9 times out of 10,  they are just making junk up. But they get up in front of their peers and do whatever it is they do, and they have fun.  Tonight I went to a ward talent show and saw a multitude of acts-from a DDR re-enactment to jump roping skills, karate, an Eminem soliloquy and some dudes in tutus. I sang (of course). I did well. I was no Rene Fleming, but I did OK.  It's ironic, really. Singing for me is kind of part of the job...I do it every day. Today wasn't much different than my kids and their Talent Time. We got up in front of our peers and made a bunch of junk up. The junk has evolved, some even practiced-and a lot of it very well executed-but maybe because I'm in it, there is no mystery. I guess my point is this: It's not all it's cracked up to be. So many are fascinated by the performing arts. They see the talents of others as these incredible gifts, yet seem to miss their own because they can't be showcased on a stage or in some other physical form. I guess we are often like that, but how is it that we miss our talents that are just as valuable-if not more so-in daily life?  After I sang, I got a lot of compliments. One came from a friendly acquaintance who claimed to have no talents of his own, yet he carries an easy athleticism, a memory I would kill for, and a great sense of humor that uplifts all around him. Three traits I envy and find lacking in my own life. (Plus he seemed to pull out a pretty respectable robot out of nowhere...) I sing. I am good at it. I've worked at it. But just because I have a talent that is acutely visible, it's definitely not my favorite thing about me, and I don't consider it my greatest gift. And maybe my friend was just being modest, but I think his reaction brings up a good point. We are more than the visual. We are far greater than we give ourselves credit for. Maybe deep down we know that, but what is it that prevents us from owning it? We don't have to be overt about our greatness, but a quiet confidence in oneself and the abilities our Heavenly Father has given us is probably one of the greatest gifts we can give Him and when we do, we can't help but lift and give others that opportunity to do the same.

The Climb

"I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it". -B. Bancard

There's always going to be another mountain.

I'm always gonna want to make it move

Always gonna be another battle

Sometimes you just have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

 It's the climb.

I love this song. Not Miley, just the song. In fact, I cry 90% of the time I hear it. I first heard it sung by one of my 5th grade girls during our end of the year class talent show. There was something about her very imperfect voice and this inspirational song that just clicked for me-a flawless performance isn't the goal. It's the journey. It's the heart. I don't even remember her name now-that student-but I will always remember that moment. (And I cried) Sometimes in a rush to get things done, I forget what I'm becoming just being alive and moving forward. Most days I don't do anything incredible, but I do something to get closer to incredible, and all those somethings put together will be something someday. Something good. Possibly incredible. Probably. Incredible.

Just The Way You Are

Sometimes in life it's easy to get caught up in the things we aren't. I love this song because it gives a great reason to get caught up in the things we are.

Plus I can dance AND workout to it. Making it totally worth the $1.29 download.

I don't know if I've posted this or not, but one of my goals  is to become classy and fabulous. I feel these traits transcend physical beauty, making them a) plausible to my current situation and b) possible.

 "Am I a ten? No. Am I a hobbit? No."

(from the TV show Dating in the Dark)

I love this quote. I love it because I think 85% of people fall into this category (10% for the '10s', and 5% for the hobbits;), but we bemoan our fate by spending billions of hours of wasted energy (not to mention dollars) chasing an unrealistic expectation (whether it is to look like that or attract someone who looks like that).

 In reality, though, when I feel good about who I am as a person, I'm not so worried about what is happening on the outside. It's going to change anyway. Fat, thin, old, young, hair color, zits, wrinkles (both the same time!), whatever. I've been way too hard on myself in the past. It is not classy, nor fabulous, to talk down to or about someone else. Especially if this person is oneself. I was reading an article I thought was especially insightful. It's called More than Meets the Eye: How to Be Beautiful without Being Good Looking. I guarantee it was written by a chick, but I digress.. After (yet again) beating myself over what I wasn't, I read these humbling truths that embody the goal I'm longing to achieve. Here they are:

1. Love Yourself
2. Laugh Often
3. Live Life With Gusto
4. Let Grace and Kindness Flow Out of You

The complete article is here:http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2385&cid=comm&aid=91103

If I'm so worried about what the pretty girls are doing (or what I'm not doing), how can I do those things?  Reading this reminds me that I am on the right track. When I am focused on others, when I have faith and trust in the Lord and myself, when I have confidence in who I am, where I am, I feel it.  In the article it talks about taking an inventory of what you have to offer in a relationship. Ultimately, I think that grounds me in the hope that there is more out there..and that I can be a part of it. Not just in love, but life in general. People will treat me the way I treat me. This is not a new concept, but just a reminder. I AM amazing..just the way I am. The best part is that I realize how amazing everyone else becomes because I realize that truth in myself. We truly give and get more when we ourselves are filled.

Classy and Fabulous

I love fashion. (Thanks, Grandma!) I love this look! Although there are so many elements I love about it, ultimately, it's classy. The structure of the skirt and the drape of the blouse work well together, and the nude monochromatic throughout is really fantastic. It's timeless.

 Thanks, Posh, for keeping it classy and fabulous.  Coco would be proud!

"A woman should be two things: classy and fabulous"-Coco Chanel

The Allure of CAN'T

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”-Maria Robinson

Now, I don't know Maria Robinson, but I love this insight.  No matter where we come from, we can always move forward. My life hasn't been ideal, and I've met few whose are, but I think sometimes I let my past invade the potential for my future. I let myself get bogged down by the weight of why I CAN'T do something, without looking at why I CAN. It doesn't necessarily make life easier. In fact, with CAN comes many possibilities that aren't pleasant.. the fear of rejection, for example. The truth is, CAN'T is easier. It requires less effort, it lets us stay comfortable, and it demands very little-except for maybe the pain of regret, which I quickly seem to shrug off since I've invested so little. But either way, hurt is inevitable. CAN requires work, and work requires stretching and sweat and growing. Work means there are risks and potential for failure, and CAN is a word that sounds like a lot of effort. Crap. Maybe someday I'll enjoy reaching new heights and making more effort, but I'm not holding my breath. The trouble is, I really do want to make changes in my life. I want to have a happy ending, but I don't know that want is enough to get me there yet. Until then, CAN'T takes over.  I still don't think I'm ready to take on the world, but I did turn off Facebook (for like an hour) and that's a good start:) I CAN do that.

The Runner

Sammy Karanja, photo by Reuters

"In 1968 a marathon runner by the name of John Stephen Akhwari represented Tanzania in an international competition. 'A little over an hour after [the winner] had crossed the finish line, John Stephen Akhwari . . . approached the stadium, the last man to complete the journey. [Though suffering from fatigue, leg cramps, dehydration, and disorientation,] a voice called from within to go on, and so he went on. Afterwards, it was written, "Today we have seen a young African runner who symbolizes the finest in human spirit, a performance that gives meaning to the word courage." For some, the only reward is a personal one. [There are no medals, only] the knowledge that they finished what they set out to do' (The Last African Runner, Olympiad Series, written, directed, and produced by Bud Greenspan, Cappy Productions, 1976, videocassette). When asked why he would complete a race he could never win, Akhwari replied, 'My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start the race; my country sent me to finish the race.'

"He knew who he was—an athlete representing the country of Tanzania. He knew his purpose—to finish the race. He knew that he had to endure to the finish, so that he could honorably return home to Tanzania. Our mission in life is much the same. We were not sent by Father in Heaven just to be born. We were sent to endure and return to Him with honor."

-Robert D. Hales "Behold, We Count Them Happy Which Endure," Ensign, May 1998, 76

Validation

For everyone who has ever wondered if they make a difference.

The most touching and heartfelt story I've seen in a long time:)

(And yes, I cried)

Thanks, Hilary!

Averagely Amazing

“I claim to be an average man of less than average ability. I have not the shadow of a doubt that any man or woman can achieve what I have, if he or she would make the same effort and cultivate the same hope and faith.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Today I went to the eye doctor. I've always thought my eyes were horrific. I feel as blind as a bat when I don't have my glasses on (Thanks, Mom), and that my prescription must be off the charts. To my  great surprise, it's average.  Then my doctor tested me for potential for LASIK surgery. The thickness of my cornea? Also average.  Grades in school? Average. Musical talents? Average.  Looks? Average. ACT scores? Average.  Teaching ability? Average. The path of greatness in my life has always proved elusive. I've never seemed to captured this inner spark required for greatness. I guess I now know why.

The purpose I have been seeking-the life I thought I'd find-never seems to materialize. I keep waiting for something 'magical' to happen in my life, that all of a sudden I will wake up and the birds would herald my newfound purpose and people in the street would notice this new personal revelation, while the soundtrack I always wished would play during these revelatory moments would blast into the world-preferably playing Frank Sinatra's "The Best is Yet to Come" (because life is always classier with a live band and a crooner) . This would, of course, include a dance number in the middle of a shopping center or park, with me at the center of the fray. Unfortunately, I still wake up every morning regretting getting out of bed, and the one of 3 alarms I set (in 15 minute increments) still goes off very rudely in my ear.

 I've given up being incredible. I've let go of being the person I thought I would be, and have decided to become a better person anyway. I've given up greatness, and  just decided to live instead. What does this mean, exactly? Corners won't be cut, expectations won't be made, and I won't be any more deserving than anyone else. I'll stop making excuses for myself and just do it, because that's what us ordinary folks do.  Others may feel this sounds like I'm devaluing myself in some way, but it's actually quite the opposite. I've been so hard on myself in the past because I never measured up to the person I thought I was SUPPOSED to be.  Now, I can just BE. Be myself (whoever THAT is). That sounds like a lot less pressure to me! And who knows, maybe in spite of myself I'll pull a Ghandi and end up amazing in spite of my average-ness. Until then, though, you'll find me blending in-happily-with the rest of the regulars...if you can find me at all:)

Living Out Loud

Life is too short to be wasted on worrying. I've done far too much of it, and it's gotten me absolutely nowhere. So I've decided to Live Out Loud. That may or may not include firearms.

Life is Worth Living

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”
~ Marjorie Pay Hinckley

And she did. MPH..you're my hero.

Google

So..I was googling myself online today, and I found a reference to a random book review on Amazon. Doubleday had released "The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ", and the review boards went nuts! I finally found the review I posted, and realized I still feel exactly the same about the Book of Mormon now. I wanted to keep it. I thought it was an interesting insight into my testimony of the Savior.

"Peace 17/01/2005 Melissa L. Fabbi
I have read and reread many of these reviews. So many voices echoing similar statements..often uplifting and insightful, others accusing and derrogatory. Their opinons are based on their own experience..what they know in their hearts to be true, and I respect that whole-heartedly. We are all entitled to an opinion and a way of living that suits our lives and allows us to become the person we are meant to be.

There is so much pain, sorrow, fustration, aching and guilt. And no matter who we are, We all need something bigger than ourselves to help us through. Yes, my friends..this is indeed a book review. But it is also more than that, because it's something more than a good book I've read. There are books that have made me laugh, question my intentions, remember good and badtimes in my life and brought me to tears...but the Book of Mormon has done more than that. It's brought me peace. There is so much hate these days. So much trauma, and drama and ugliness. Amidst all of that, is our Savior Jesus Christ. Our Elder Brother and our Friend. This, my friends, is a book about Him. And He brings me peace. I feel that peace when I read the Bible as well. I feel that peace when I see people serving each other and loving each other..of all different religions and backgrounds. I feel that peace when I pray. I feel peace. In this world, at this time, I need that. Someone who loved me enough to give His life for me. Because He loves me. He loves each one of us no matter who we are, what we believe, where we've been or where we are going. A book that reminds me of Him, that reminds me of who I am and who He wants me to be..and who He knows I can be...is a blessing. Yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The Book of Mormon has brought me closer to Christ...through Him I have found peace in my life. My prayer for each one of you who read this book or don't read this boook-is that you find peace...Somewhere. We need it. We need Him."