I Bet This is What Heaven is Like

I went to a family ward today. MY family ward. The one where there are married people that aren't in the bishopric. The one where there are multiple ages other than 18-30 (and the slackers who keep hanging around after they're 30). The one where it's like real church.  I was super nervous, until I knew so many people already and felt so comfortable there. So many reached out to me, and it was so easy to reach back. It was wonderful.  I feel like that when I go to the temple as well. I always run into someone I know-usually someone I haven't seen in a while. Everyone is so peaceful, the Spirit permeates the building, and it's so quiet I can hear the electricity humming in the celestial room. More than once I've thought: "I bet this is what heaven is like." I felt like that today at church. I have been putting off making this transition for so long, and today I wondered what the hold up was. I was so comfortable with the process of the singles ward, yet so unhappy. I wasn't being spiritually fed, I didn't feel needed, and the dating aspect (the reason they were created in the first place) has always been non-existant. It made me wonder if there are other things I've been holding on to that maybe I should let go of. That maybe Heavenly Father-in His infinite wisdom and complete and perfect knowledge of me-has more to give me in other aspects of my life as well. I've been holding on so tightly, but maybe it's just time to "Let go and let God."  Something to think about. Lots to think about. Maybe there are more heavenly experiences in my future...I'm kind of scared and excited to find out.

Bountiful Baskets

Bright and sunny, with a few gray clouds looming in the distance, I got in line for my first time. A bumper sticker on one of the many mini-vans in the lot read "I don't believe the liberal media" and the little white sportscar next to me touted the license place "GODSKID". I was smiling already:). The park was bustling with activity, and white baskets filled to the brim with produce lined the east side of the area. I was 20 minutes early, but a crowd was already starting to form. Not knowing what to do, I asked the first friendly face I saw. They weren't too difficult to find. Although they'd been there at least an hour, everyone was pretty upbeat. She directed me through the process and told me to take a box-one of the many left over-and I started to get back in line. There was an incredible sense of community. Others in line were chatting, their reusable plastic bags swinging at their sides or laundry baskets hefted on their hips. I saw soccer moms with tattoos, bleary eyed husbands, and an old friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years (although facebook seems to bring us together more regularly than that). He and his family lived right down the road from me, and I had no idea. It was fun to catch up. I also met a new friend-Jonelle-in line, who, with her resolve to use EVERYTHING in her basket, regaled me of her attempts to use okra. People were friendly and smiling...and excited!  This really was the place to be on a Saturday morning.

There's a new phenomenon emerging here in the west. It's called "Bountiful Baskets"  http://www.bountifulbaskets.org/ and it's a fruit and vegetable co-op. I heard about it when I went to visit my friend Tanya in Washington. For $15 dollars ($25 if you get the organic basket) you pay into it and on Saturday mornings you pick up your food. It's amazing, really. The founders-Sally and Tanya who send out the weekly reminder e-mails -wanted  an inexpensive way to provide produce for their friends and families. It's non-profit, and those who run each site are volunteers. It's also good for farmers. The group focuses on using produce from small farms to help them out and to keep costs low. They try to get as close to local as possible, preserving freshness and helping to support local economies. With such an affordable way to eat, it also promotes healthy living. I love the philosophy, I love the idea, and I love the produce. The box I recieved was packed to the brim with lettuce, spinach, broccoli, turnips, yams, bananas, pears, apples, pomegranates, grapes and a pineapple. It's different every week, so it's a surprise every time. My parents are doing it out in Logandale, and they both texted me at 6 am-independent of each other- to remind me to get in line;). (It's like they know me or something!)

There's power in coming together for a common purpose. I loved that feeling this morning. People from many different backgrounds and experiences, all on the look out for a great deal and maybe that same sense of community. I really enjoyed this because it's hard to feel that in Vegas. We are a transient locale. It's the nature of our town. People move in and out all the time, and because of that, there is little desire to build camaraderie or plant roots. Most are transplants from other places. More often than not, when I run into people who are rooted in this city, it's at church functions. The church really does provide roots in many ways that Las Vegas as a whole-with its propensity toward tearing down anything 25 years or older (other than government housing)-seems to find superfluous. It's the people here who connect this town. Mostly through their memories and social networks. It's the shared experiences and "remember whens". There are very few landmarks left to visually see what Vegas used to be. It might be a little thing, but in a big city-especially this city, it means a lot. Under the showy glitz and glamour of our 24 hour town, in a park on the far northwest corner of a Vegas map, a couple of roots started growing.  Maybe there is a place for me here after all...at least a place in line:)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where

the clouds are far

Behind me.

Where troubles melt

 like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me."

-Harold Arlen

When he penned the lyrics to Over the Rainbow, Harold Arlen probably thought it was just another song in another movie musical. Little did you know, Hal, your amazing addition to the great American songbook has changed my life along with countless others. When I first saw 'The Wizard of Oz', we had recorded it on our new VCR. The thing was a silver monster, and cost hundreds of dollars. It was 1984, and it was the  first movie we ever recorded on it. The magic of technology and a timeless classic were no match for my imagination-then and now. Something changes inside of me watching that movie. It asks me to suspend reality-which I willingly do-for 3 hours. (The commercials make it longer. I think I've seen it twice without commercials. )

Here is  Dorothy in black and white; seeking adventure and an escape from reality. Little does she know of the Technicolor world awaiting her 'Over the Rainbow'. Dorothy learns that problems still happen, challenges still arise, plans go awry-even in Technicolor. The grass is literally greener on the other side, but there's a different set of challenges keeping it that color. Troubles don't melt like lemon drops over the rainbow.  Oz changes Dorothy. I think it's for several reasons, and I'm sure someone, somewhere, has dissected these many truths in greater detail and with more exceptional skill in a critical analysis. But since this is my blog, I'll throw in my two cents. Not only does Dorothy realize 'there's no place like home', she grows up. She relies on others, as well as herself. She makes new friends. She appreciates diversity. She helps and serves others. She loves. She struggles. She has hope and faith in the Wizard. The Wizard can't solve all of her problems, though. Ultimately she has the power to choose what she wants-as difficult as the choice may be. I could make a bunch of spiritual connections here, but I'll let you infer your own.

Dorothy's storyline resonates with me. I live in black and white and (mostly) gray. I dream of a new world, new adventures and more excitement than I currently experience. This weekend I went to a Midsingles conference here in Vegas. It was good to see old friends and meet new ones. I didn't make any love connections, although I had my crushes. I'm 30 years old, yet nothing has changed. I thought being older would be more exciting than it is now. I thought I would have my life figured out and that I'd have all the answers. As I watched all of us trying to maneuver the shark invested waters of the Mormon Singles Scene, I realized that no matter how beautiful, talented or fabulous, we were all in the same boat. There were others who seemed to have lives 'Over the Rainbow', but a snapshot in one weekend is not a fair assessment, and I have a feeling most left the same way I did-a mixture of bittersweet emotions. I hope that Hope overcame some of the  fear of the future...the 'is this going to be for the REST OF MY LIFE?' train of thought that sinks the thinker into a sad cycle of loneliness and despair. (No one's ever been there, right?)

It's interesting though, I never once thought "What's wrong with me?"  That's pretty huge. I can't say I didn't cry a little..I did. It sucks not knowing what the future holds. At least if I'd cranked out a couple of kids and was folding my husband's underwear I'd have some sense of direction, but this "World is my oyster" business is a little too open to intrepretation for my taste. On the way home from our last meeting on Sunday, minutes after I saw yet another one of  my friends give some guy  their number, I saw an amazing rainbow. The kind that stretch all the way across the sky. The kind the double rainbow guy would 'ooh and aah' over. And I realized that on whatever side of the rainbow we are on or think we are on, our Heavenly Father is mindful of us and our circumstances. He's not finished with me yet. Maybe there's more to my life than underwear and childrearing right now. Maybe it's this time that will make that time to come all the sweeter. Whatever it is, I've got work to do. I'll color the parts of my life that I can start on my own, and have the Lord do the rest.