Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where

the clouds are far

Behind me.

Where troubles melt

 like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me."

-Harold Arlen

When he penned the lyrics to Over the Rainbow, Harold Arlen probably thought it was just another song in another movie musical. Little did you know, Hal, your amazing addition to the great American songbook has changed my life along with countless others. When I first saw 'The Wizard of Oz', we had recorded it on our new VCR. The thing was a silver monster, and cost hundreds of dollars. It was 1984, and it was the  first movie we ever recorded on it. The magic of technology and a timeless classic were no match for my imagination-then and now. Something changes inside of me watching that movie. It asks me to suspend reality-which I willingly do-for 3 hours. (The commercials make it longer. I think I've seen it twice without commercials. )

Here is  Dorothy in black and white; seeking adventure and an escape from reality. Little does she know of the Technicolor world awaiting her 'Over the Rainbow'. Dorothy learns that problems still happen, challenges still arise, plans go awry-even in Technicolor. The grass is literally greener on the other side, but there's a different set of challenges keeping it that color. Troubles don't melt like lemon drops over the rainbow.  Oz changes Dorothy. I think it's for several reasons, and I'm sure someone, somewhere, has dissected these many truths in greater detail and with more exceptional skill in a critical analysis. But since this is my blog, I'll throw in my two cents. Not only does Dorothy realize 'there's no place like home', she grows up. She relies on others, as well as herself. She makes new friends. She appreciates diversity. She helps and serves others. She loves. She struggles. She has hope and faith in the Wizard. The Wizard can't solve all of her problems, though. Ultimately she has the power to choose what she wants-as difficult as the choice may be. I could make a bunch of spiritual connections here, but I'll let you infer your own.

Dorothy's storyline resonates with me. I live in black and white and (mostly) gray. I dream of a new world, new adventures and more excitement than I currently experience. This weekend I went to a Midsingles conference here in Vegas. It was good to see old friends and meet new ones. I didn't make any love connections, although I had my crushes. I'm 30 years old, yet nothing has changed. I thought being older would be more exciting than it is now. I thought I would have my life figured out and that I'd have all the answers. As I watched all of us trying to maneuver the shark invested waters of the Mormon Singles Scene, I realized that no matter how beautiful, talented or fabulous, we were all in the same boat. There were others who seemed to have lives 'Over the Rainbow', but a snapshot in one weekend is not a fair assessment, and I have a feeling most left the same way I did-a mixture of bittersweet emotions. I hope that Hope overcame some of the  fear of the future...the 'is this going to be for the REST OF MY LIFE?' train of thought that sinks the thinker into a sad cycle of loneliness and despair. (No one's ever been there, right?)

It's interesting though, I never once thought "What's wrong with me?"  That's pretty huge. I can't say I didn't cry a little..I did. It sucks not knowing what the future holds. At least if I'd cranked out a couple of kids and was folding my husband's underwear I'd have some sense of direction, but this "World is my oyster" business is a little too open to intrepretation for my taste. On the way home from our last meeting on Sunday, minutes after I saw yet another one of  my friends give some guy  their number, I saw an amazing rainbow. The kind that stretch all the way across the sky. The kind the double rainbow guy would 'ooh and aah' over. And I realized that on whatever side of the rainbow we are on or think we are on, our Heavenly Father is mindful of us and our circumstances. He's not finished with me yet. Maybe there's more to my life than underwear and childrearing right now. Maybe it's this time that will make that time to come all the sweeter. Whatever it is, I've got work to do. I'll color the parts of my life that I can start on my own, and have the Lord do the rest.